It has been my first week home with both of the kids and it as been a fantastic week. We had Cydney going to preschool full time until last week. We'd paid for it so we thought she might as well enjoy it! We hope to get her into a new one where she only goes 2 mornings a week. Ian loved having her home with us. He likes to follow her around to find the "good" toys. Cydney likes being home so that she can "mother" Ian as much as she wants. They play pretty well together. Today I heard all this giggling coming from the living room and when I got there I found Cydney giving Ian a puppet show! Her Dad has rubbed off on her. :-) Ian likes it if the puppets try and eat him.
Reading my cousin's blog the other day I realized that we are having the same discussions in our house. Since Ian has been home the topic of body parts has come up and we've been trying to address them as clearly as possible. Just like my cousin's little guy (Landon), Cydney thinks Ian has a "peanut" or after being corrected..."pizza??". She seems concerned about it, but I think more because she's jealous that he gets to carry food in his pants. We'll keep those discussion lines open and hopefully get her straightened out before she has kids. :-)
Cydney has also started noticing the differences between her and Ian in other ways. We knew that this is the typical age for kids to start comparing themselves to others. Cydney loves Ian's eyes. She loves that they are so dark and she can see herself in them. I caught her today trying to get her eyes to be the same shape as his. I love that she loves his beautiful features. Of course, being out in public more now I've noticed that adults are not much different than 3 year olds on this subject. We get a lot of stares and comments. The worst one coming this week was "How much did he cost?". I'd read that this could be a question, but I wasn't prepared for it. All I could muster was..."He was worth it." Not that all the stares are dark or comments bad. Most strangers we see seem so very genuinely happy to see our little family. Before we got Ian, it was my biggest fear that the stares or comments would bother me. I've never liked sticking out and adopting a child of another race seemed like a very big way to go about doing just that! It scared me. I was afraid that it would be like wearing a sign that says, "Hello, I can't have my own child so I took someone elses! What's your name?" But I can now honestly say that none of it matters. Having Ian home with us and falling in love with him makes all of that disappear. People can think and say whatever they like...I'm in love and he's my SON!! But now my fear is for him. Right now it is easy. He's oblivious to all of this. In a few years he'll start to notice things just as Cydney is. Just as any new parent I want to have all the right answers at all the right times. Are there enough books out there so that I can memorize these quick witted answers to annoying questions and make him the most well adjusted adopted child in the world? Probably not. But I'll do my best. As long as he grows up knowing that he is loved and loves who he is, I think that's all I can ask. Just as long as he understands he doesn't have food in his pants. 
6 comments:
Jill, this was wonderful to read, but made David and I even more homesick. Ian and Cydney look beautiful. That pizza thing is the best thing I've ever heard!
I can't believe someone would ask you that or be that rude! I thought your answer was perfect. :) Ian has the absolute best parents in the world and it shows in his adorable face with that smile! Now about those peanut questions..........! (Thanks again for calling and I apologize for "hogging" the conversation!)
Hi, Jill! I've loved reading your blog even though I haven't ever commented on it before! Anyway, just had to remark to that comment about "how much did he cost?" I'm aghast!!!! What an awful thing to say. Anyway, Mark and I are totally planning to adopt in addition to the ones we already have. Personally,I think your adoption decision speaks less of not being able to create a child, per say, and more about answering and proactively seeking the huge calling to Motherhood. The questions will come, and I think you'll be opening people's eyes to the truth of motherhood and family like they've not known before. Blessings to you and your family! With love from the Robinsons.
Jill, it sounds like you are having a great time w/both children at home. I'm sure its great for them to have each other to play with all day.
The questions bother me too, only b/c I know they are something my kids are always going to be confronted with. Hopefully as the kids gets older, we'll come up w/some more good answers...from your response, its sounds like you are already handling them well.
Kristen
I loved this post. I laughed and cried. I'm glad you're enjoying being home with both your kiddos. They are so sweet!
I have been reading your blog for a while now, and I am so touched by it. We are also adopting from Korea. I have two boys 4 & 7 and we are on the list for a little girl. Your post comforted me so much. I rarely care about what people think, but wondered if we would "stick out" after our daughter is home. Thank you for your thoughts and telling about it. It gave me peace! Especially since we don't live in a very diverse community. No better time than now to make it diverse, right!? Thank you again and blessings to you and your beautiful family!
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