Pregnant on Paper!!!!!

We are at last "PAPER READY"!!!! We just got the O.K. from the federal government yesterday and they gave us the green light to wait for a referral. It was our last hoop in the paperwork section of our journey. I spoke with Laura (our social worker, for those of you just tuning in) and she said she'd notify the "list keeper" that we were ready. I couldn't help myself and had to ask where we are on the list. Of the families waiting for boys from South Korea we are 8th down on the list. Three of the families before us are paper ready as of the beginning of May. They have been receiving about 4-5 referrals a month, so she said we could expect a referral by the end of summer!!! I swear it is like someone just told me I'm pregnant. I'm just about as giddy. Although, I need to pace myself. Once we receive a referral it will be 3-6 months before all the paperwork is completed to go and get him. My dream of bringing him home before Christmas has a chance, but I'm trying to keep an open mind on that one.

So right now we are in the process of waiting. Laura said to let her know when we are on vacation so that she can get a hold of us if our little guy's information comes in. I'm sure she'll be sorry she told me that. I'm likely to call and tell her every time I go to the bathroom, so that she knows I won't be near my phone. :-)

A Little More Information

Since it is kind of a quiet time in the whole process, we thought maybe it would be a good time to tell you a little more about the adoption agency we will be working with over in Korea. Let's start at the beginning....(I love history). South Korea has the oldest international adoption program in the world. More than 200,000 children have been adopted from there since the mid-1950s, when many children placed for adoption were biracial children fathered by U.S. Military personnel during and after the Korean War. Most children available for adoption today are placed by unmarried mothers who are concerned about the strong stigma against children who are born out of wedlock.

Our particular agency is called the Eastern Social Welfare Society (ESWS). I found most of this information from their website and the information given to us from Lifelink. ESWS is based in Seoul and has been placing children since 1972. It was founded by Dr. Duk Whang Kim, a lifelong Christian and an elder of a church who has helped needy children find families, and provides places and education for disabled children. They have many homes and projects that benefit many aspects of the process of adoption. In Seoul, their main office is connected to their children's hospital, baby nursery, and guest house. The babies usually stay at the nursery for the first six weeks and are then placed into foster homes. When we go over there we may have the opportunity to stay at their guest house. Dr. Kim recently retired and was succeeded by his daughter. It was customary for him to meet with each adoptive family and share a meal with them. I'm guessing that his daughter will still carry on that tradition. I've been reading up on my Korean table etiquette for that very reason.

It is so easy to get caught up in our own story of w-a-i-t-i-n-g for our little guy. There is a book, I Wish for You a Beautfiul Life, that is comprised of letters written from Korean mothers to the children that they have put up for adoption. One wrote, "You needed to be loved by family members, and you could have that love only if you were in a family. I couldn't give that love by myself. Therefore, adoption was my gift to you." What a completely selfless act of love.

Technical update

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Next Step

Laura emailed us on Monday to say that the state had processed our paperwork and she was sending it on to CIS. Which stands for Citizenship & Immigration Services, not CSI (Crime Scene Investigation...I got that wrong before). So in 4-6 weeks we should be done with this step.

Sean went to Moline last Saturday for his make-up parenting class. We were scheduled to go to our agency's class in March, but he had the flu. I had originally thought about drugging him and propping him up in a chair since it was mandatory that we take the class and we didn't want his absence to delay our paperwork, but they found this make up class for him to take instead. Which was a more humane way to go. He enjoyed the class and got to meet some other couples that are adopting in the Peoria, Monmouth, and Iowa areas. It was fun comparing notes between the two classes. We both got to hear from adoptees who are now adults. They talked about their experiences growing up and their feelings about their families. I think we agreed we enjoyed that part the most.

A couple of questions we recently got were if we specifically requested a boy and if we knew who he was? The answers are yes and no. We specifically requested a boy. It was part of the reason we decided on South Korea as our country. 80% of the children adopted from Korea are boys. That was surprising to us when we were researching because we'd always thought of Asian countries as having girls that were available. But that is particularly China. There have been a couple of reasons given to us as to why there are so many boys up for adoption in South Korea. One is that because the children are up for adoption domestically the girls are usually adopted first. Partly because it is thought girls are easier to raise and because blood lines are important in Korea, by adopting a girl she doesn't affect the blood line as a boy would. As far as knowing who our little guy will be, we have absolutely no idea. When we turned in our initial application to Lifelink we were placed at the bottom of their list for Korean adoptions. Once we are "paper ready", when the agency is made aware of babies ready for adoption they go to their list and the first couple that is requesting that particular sex will get the referral for that child. We are hoping that since we are requesting a boy that our wait will be a little shorter than others on the list. Americans tend to adopt girls. That's why there is an almost four year wait for adopting through China. So it is God/fate/chance, any way you want to look at it, that will bring us together with our little guy.

So I hope this answers your questions, if you have anymore please let us know.

Let's Backtrack a Bit

I have this need to do something towards bringing our little guy home almost everyday. Since it is out of my hands now, I've managed to quell that need from everyday to doing something once a week. So this week its the blog!
I've gotten a few emails asking how we got to this point in the process. We started researching adoption agencies last November. Many people (both personally and on the internet) recommended Lifelink Adoption Agencies. I've worked with Lifelink through my job, only through their teen parenting programs, so that brought some reassurance as well. They happened to have a branch in Rockford, so after Christmas Carol was over (Sean was directing it) we made an appointment to meet with them. We liked the social worker we met with (Laura), so we decided to jump right in. To complete our home study we needed to meet with her for interviews, write our life stories, get physicals (even Amos!) and fill out a pile of paperwork. Two of the interviews would be with the both of us, and then she would meet with us individually. Our final interview would be at our home so that she could interview Cydney and see our home as well. Before the interviews began we had to write our life stories to give her ideas on what to ask and probably show any possible red flags. The outline they gave us was 4 pages long, so we didn't think it was out of the question that our stories turned out to be 25 pages long. But after Laura's reaction when we turned it in, we asked how long they normally are. Ten pages! With pictures! Ha! Well hopefully we got a gold star for divulging everything! Our final interview with Cydney was fun. I say fun, yet I (nor anyone in the house) was not saying that before she arrived. I could not get the house clean enough. Cydney did very well during her interview. During the visit she dug around her toy basket until she found her magnifying glass and used it to check Laura out! I enjoyed the irony of that!
We had to get finger printed by both the state and federal governments. The federal set seemed to be more challenging. Apparently I have almost worn my prints off! Who knew you could do that?? But after a second set were taken I seemed to be clear.
We recently got our license to be a foster home. Since the adoption won't be finalized here in the U.S. until we've been home with the little guy for six months, we will be considered (legally) his foster family during that time. The license slowed our process down slightly because DCFS lost our paperwork. Once we realized it, it had been two weeks, and we had to resend it and wait another two weeks. Although, they said there would be bumps in the road and if that is the biggest bump we get we'll be doing very well.
So that brings you up to date. Our paperwork is with the state government and will hopefully be back to us by the end of April and then we'll send it on to the federal government.
I hope that gives you a thorough, if not TOO thorough look at the Home Study process. Thanks again for checking our blog!

Waiting to be "paper ready"

Ok, so I'm new at this blogging thing, but it seems to be a great way to keep a lot of people informed about our adoption story.
As most of you know, we are planning to adopt a little guy from South Korea. Right now we are waiting for the state government to OK our paper work so that it can be sent on to the federal government. Once that is done (as long as our criminal history that we've both managed to block out doesn't come up), we will be considered "Paper ready" by the agency. We're thinking that it might be June before that happens. At that point we will be waiting for a referral that can take up to six months. Once we get the picture (referral) of our little guy, it will be 3-6 months before we get the OK to go get him! I'm expecting that waiting period will be the hardest. Perhaps blogging will be a good distraction at that point.
We've started getting ready for him, by working on Cydney's big girl room. The little guy will have the nursery, so we need to get her moved into her new room soon, so that she doesn't feel displaced.
Thank you for checking the blog. I hope to update it every couple of weeks (OK, at least once a month).