A little Q & A

What....to...talk...about???? (tapping on head) I've had writer's block for at least a week now. Don't think I've forgotten to write.... I'm constantly thinking about it. I just figure you're not interested in what I had for lunch that day. :-) Here are few questions that have come up when we were visiting with family and friends recently. Question: How old will our little guy be when we bring him home? Answer: He will be about 5 months old when we get the referral (because of South Korea's new law, the child has to be up for domestic adoption for 5 months before being placed on an international list). Then it will be 3-6 months of paperwork until we bring him home, so he'll be 9-12months old. Next Question: How long will we have to stay in Korea when we go? Answer: We have to be there for 4-5 business days. With South Korea there is an option for having him escorted over here, but we want to be able to see his country and document as much of it for him and to learn a little more about his heritage. Cydney will have her birth story. We want to give him a good story as well. Next Question: Will Cydney go with you? Answer: Most likely, no. The jury (me) is still having a hard time with this decision. But life will be easier if she doesn't go (for both her and us...see next question). Question: How long will your flight be? Answer: We've heard up to 18 hours, but the handy dandy travelocity website tells me it'll be about 14 hours. Who knows, let's just say it'll be a loooong flight. But on the way back it'll give us a lot of good "bonding" time with our little guy. He'll be placed in our care the day before we leave. His biological mother can reclaim him at any point until we step foot on a plane. It doesn't happen very often, but I think it'll be hard not to look over our shoulders while we're waiting to board.
Thank you again for reading and checking our blog. We feel your support and feel so very blessed by it. And as always if you have any questions....PLEASE let us know...it definitely helps my writer's block!

Pregnant on Paper!!!!!

We are at last "PAPER READY"!!!! We just got the O.K. from the federal government yesterday and they gave us the green light to wait for a referral. It was our last hoop in the paperwork section of our journey. I spoke with Laura (our social worker, for those of you just tuning in) and she said she'd notify the "list keeper" that we were ready. I couldn't help myself and had to ask where we are on the list. Of the families waiting for boys from South Korea we are 8th down on the list. Three of the families before us are paper ready as of the beginning of May. They have been receiving about 4-5 referrals a month, so she said we could expect a referral by the end of summer!!! I swear it is like someone just told me I'm pregnant. I'm just about as giddy. Although, I need to pace myself. Once we receive a referral it will be 3-6 months before all the paperwork is completed to go and get him. My dream of bringing him home before Christmas has a chance, but I'm trying to keep an open mind on that one.

So right now we are in the process of waiting. Laura said to let her know when we are on vacation so that she can get a hold of us if our little guy's information comes in. I'm sure she'll be sorry she told me that. I'm likely to call and tell her every time I go to the bathroom, so that she knows I won't be near my phone. :-)

A Little More Information

Since it is kind of a quiet time in the whole process, we thought maybe it would be a good time to tell you a little more about the adoption agency we will be working with over in Korea. Let's start at the beginning....(I love history). South Korea has the oldest international adoption program in the world. More than 200,000 children have been adopted from there since the mid-1950s, when many children placed for adoption were biracial children fathered by U.S. Military personnel during and after the Korean War. Most children available for adoption today are placed by unmarried mothers who are concerned about the strong stigma against children who are born out of wedlock.

Our particular agency is called the Eastern Social Welfare Society (ESWS). I found most of this information from their website and the information given to us from Lifelink. ESWS is based in Seoul and has been placing children since 1972. It was founded by Dr. Duk Whang Kim, a lifelong Christian and an elder of a church who has helped needy children find families, and provides places and education for disabled children. They have many homes and projects that benefit many aspects of the process of adoption. In Seoul, their main office is connected to their children's hospital, baby nursery, and guest house. The babies usually stay at the nursery for the first six weeks and are then placed into foster homes. When we go over there we may have the opportunity to stay at their guest house. Dr. Kim recently retired and was succeeded by his daughter. It was customary for him to meet with each adoptive family and share a meal with them. I'm guessing that his daughter will still carry on that tradition. I've been reading up on my Korean table etiquette for that very reason.

It is so easy to get caught up in our own story of w-a-i-t-i-n-g for our little guy. There is a book, I Wish for You a Beautfiul Life, that is comprised of letters written from Korean mothers to the children that they have put up for adoption. One wrote, "You needed to be loved by family members, and you could have that love only if you were in a family. I couldn't give that love by myself. Therefore, adoption was my gift to you." What a completely selfless act of love.

Next Step

Laura emailed us on Monday to say that the state had processed our paperwork and she was sending it on to CIS. Which stands for Citizenship & Immigration Services, not CSI (Crime Scene Investigation...I got that wrong before). So in 4-6 weeks we should be done with this step.

Sean went to Moline last Saturday for his make-up parenting class. We were scheduled to go to our agency's class in March, but he had the flu. I had originally thought about drugging him and propping him up in a chair since it was mandatory that we take the class and we didn't want his absence to delay our paperwork, but they found this make up class for him to take instead. Which was a more humane way to go. He enjoyed the class and got to meet some other couples that are adopting in the Peoria, Monmouth, and Iowa areas. It was fun comparing notes between the two classes. We both got to hear from adoptees who are now adults. They talked about their experiences growing up and their feelings about their families. I think we agreed we enjoyed that part the most.

A couple of questions we recently got were if we specifically requested a boy and if we knew who he was? The answers are yes and no. We specifically requested a boy. It was part of the reason we decided on South Korea as our country. 80% of the children adopted from Korea are boys. That was surprising to us when we were researching because we'd always thought of Asian countries as having girls that were available. But that is particularly China. There have been a couple of reasons given to us as to why there are so many boys up for adoption in South Korea. One is that because the children are up for adoption domestically the girls are usually adopted first. Partly because it is thought girls are easier to raise and because blood lines are important in Korea, by adopting a girl she doesn't affect the blood line as a boy would. As far as knowing who our little guy will be, we have absolutely no idea. When we turned in our initial application to Lifelink we were placed at the bottom of their list for Korean adoptions. Once we are "paper ready", when the agency is made aware of babies ready for adoption they go to their list and the first couple that is requesting that particular sex will get the referral for that child. We are hoping that since we are requesting a boy that our wait will be a little shorter than others on the list. Americans tend to adopt girls. That's why there is an almost four year wait for adopting through China. So it is God/fate/chance, any way you want to look at it, that will bring us together with our little guy.

So I hope this answers your questions, if you have anymore please let us know.